Conservatives & Liberals

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.
Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a
very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was
very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government
programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch
Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the
lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional
chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for
years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he
thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition
to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government
programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her
professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her
father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a
4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain,
insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load
and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go
out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even
have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many
college friends, because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked , 'How is your friend
Audrey doing?' She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by.
All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she
barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college
for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties
and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes
because she's too hung over.'

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to
the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and
give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will
both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly that would be a fair and
equal distribution of GPA.' The daughter, visibly shocked by
her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's a crazy
idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my
grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!
Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played
while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to
the Republican party.' If anyone has a better explanation of
the difference between Republican and Democrat I'm all ears.

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this
is a great test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat..
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products
banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to
better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches
channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion
silenced - unless it's a foreign religion, of course!